Category Archives: Personal

My Vision for 2016

In January, one of my good friends challenged me to envision what I wanted out of my life for 2016. There are plenty of things I want to do, but I’ve never established a timeline for actually getting them done…until this year.












2016 is the perfect time for me to do this. I work. I volunteer. I work. I volunteer. I work. I volunteer. Now, I feel like I have to maintain a balance and do some things to reward myself and to further enrich my life.

So, what am I going to do? Here’s my list:

  • Gain more knowledge: Whether this new newly acquired knowledge or skill will help me in my career or just be something that I can use personally, I’m going to learn something new.
  • Pay off credit card debt: I don’t just want to decrease the amount of money I owe. I want to pay off my debt, owe nothing, have a $0 balance. I want freedom.
  • Plan an international trip: I’ve been to several states for some R&R, and I once took a cruise to Cozumel, Mexico. I have this passport that I’ve only used one time, and I need to use it again before it expires. Where shall I go?
  • Get in better physical shape: Last year, I would go to the gym on a regular basis, and I was brave enough to rock a bikini after having toned my body from working out. I’ve slipped, and my body has suffered. It’s time to improve my health and get back in shape!
  • Read for pleasure: There was a time when I’d buy a book a month and read it. I have no clue what happened. I love reading. It’s a great way for me to escape. So, I’m going to read more this year.
  • Attend a professional sports game: I’ve only been to high school and college games, so it’s time for me to step it up and enjoy the NFL, NBA, or MLB in D.C., Charlotte, or Atlanta…or maybe even Dallas!
  • Attend more concerts: I love music, and I truly enjoy attending live performances. Mostly, I go to hip-hop shows, but this year I’m going to enjoy some jazz and R&B, too.
  • Attend more cultural events: I want to take the time to appreciate the arts, learn more about history, and experience¬†different cultures. Not that I’m sheltered–I just want to be exposed to a lot more.

Here it is…I’ve laid out my 8 goals for 2016. This is going to be a lot of fun. I’ve already started tackling some of things I’ve set out to do, and I can’t wait to get going on ALL of them.¬†When it’s time to look back on this year, I’m going to be so proud of all that I accomplished. Go, me!


Goodbye, 33…Hello, 34!

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Define Love

My definition of love is:

  • wanting to share every aspect of my life with this one person because no matter whether it’s joy or pain, he’s the only support I want to receive.
  • needing to hear his voice or read a text message from him just to be able to get through the day because his words are the comfort and motivation that I need.
  • rejoicing in the good things that happen to him and being ready to go to war when he’s met with some obstacle because his happiness and sadness belong to me, too.
  • wanting to spend every second of my life with my arms and legs intertwined with his because I always want to stay in his presence.
  • accepting his flaws because his constant good heart outweighs any little annoying thing that he could do every now and then.
  • being able to expose my true self to him and risk being critiqued because I’ve revealed who I really am but need him to see all of me, not just the physical me.
  • feeling like he’s my cure, my Prince Charming, my counselor, my protector, and my confidant all wrapped in one.


It was the best day of my life. It was the worst day of my life.

On 9/28/02, I was the happiest woman in the world because it was the best day of my life.

On 9/28/07, I was the saddest woman in the world because it was the worst day of my life.

In ’02, I married the love of my life. In ’07, I was packing up our things…or my things because of what he left behind. I just knew that I would never recover from such a heartbreak. How could the one who I thought was my reason for being on earth abandon our marriage and the love I had for him? I had to accept that he had made his choice, and I would have to move on. Being separated and ultimately divorced is not what I had planned for my life. But, I couldn’t let that defeat me.

These past four years have been filled with many highs and many more lows. Thankfully though, the lows have been few and far between lately. A new me has been born. I’ve immersed myself in things that make me happy: my family, my friends, my sorority, and hip-hop. I’m finally living for me, and I’m at peace.

Sometimes I wonder what would’ve been if my ex and I could’ve worked it out or what would’ve been if we had called it quits earlier or what if we were still married & going on the same course we had been. No one will ever know what may have been. But, today, I have more hope for the future. I have hope that the true love of my life will come scoop me up. I have hope that I will be a great wife to someone else some day. I have hope that my life will just be better overall.

On 9/28/11, I am once again happy because I am living the life I always wanted to live with the people I love and the people who love me right back.

Syd, the Brown Skin Lady